Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Hump Day

Earlier in this 24 hour period of madness...

I’m running around multi-tasking bank deposits, conducting 90 MPH grocery/present shopping, managing an ever ringing cell phone, and fighting an ever falling gas gauge on my car, all while struggling to not spill the coffee that is somewhat keeping me going through it all…and I find myself jealous. And not because everyone in the world seems to have remembered their umbrella except me. No, this is more shallow.
Not only does Gorgeous Wife #1 look beautiful and put together as she carts around her toddler in Marshalls, but I can tell that she actually managed to get to the gym (by her toned arms) AND managed a full blow out to her hair. With a toddler.
Excuse me, but do you get super powers when you give birth?! Are you suddenly a better multi tasker, shopper and all around doer? Because I don’t look very graceful. My hair is beginning to take over my face and in need of a cut, oh, and I ripped my hose. Again. Because I do that.  And I don’t have a small seemingly perfect little angel to watch over, get ready, and provide for. So, what precisely am I doing wrong? 
Oh, yeah. It is a Wednesday. Thank you hump day.
Meanwhile, Coach carrying Wife #2 (I presume...she could be a black widow type) is chatting in lingering Spanglish. Emphasizing the fact that my southern accent has taken over, and if I were to even try and recapture a bit of glamour with the use of my rusty French skills today...I would fail. Miserably. And the Frenchies would hear about it and bar me from the country. At which point I would have to pull a bad "immigrant" routine, and get into the country to simply disappear into the southern ccountryside....if they can't find me, they can't expel me. Oh hump day!
At least I have my red heels and red lips on. ;)