The Working Woman's Woes: Mentors

~Mentors~

Feel like a post straight out of left field? Read the Overview here like a good reader! 

Best advice I was ever given: find a mentor. It isn't easy. I have not perfected the art by any means, and I wish I could have started at 17. Still, I have discussed the matter at length with friends all across the nation (and world), each in different professions. The need for a mentor never fluctuated in any of those situations. In several cases, the mentor presence made the difference between promotion at the 1 or 3 year mark. Same college pedigrees, same GPA profiles, similar college internships, often obsessive work ethics, similar corporate/non-profit cultures and still...different promotional timelines.

Seeking out that one great sounding board can be difficult for complicated reasons. There is the personality compatibility factor: you will not have success if you fail to identify with the person. There is the timing factor: sometimes there just isn't time to find one! We are busy proving ourselves! But find on you should. End of story.

Also, let us not forget the hard truth that not every industry has continuity: someone in hospitality can learn best practices for customer relations and apply them 80% of the time, while someone in public relations needs a mentor familiar with the regional and social markets that he/she is working in. Even more daunting, is the speed at which our communications are changing with the advent of social media. We may have constant access to knowledge, and the ability to share events and information, but there is still an etiquette of professionalism that applies to everyone...unless you are Perez Hilton. In which case, just stop reading. No, really. STOP.

"Would You Be My Mentor?"  

Initiating the conversation that leads to the non-verbal "yes, I will be your mentor" should not be nerve racking. You do not have to deliver an evite equivalent to the "Be Mine" hearts of February. I mean you are not approaching anyone for a date. And if you are (mainly the sisters out there) you should seriously reconsider your intentions! Rejection should not be the greatest fear in this case. If you just don't know where to begin, try this:

• Build a list of people whose work you respect, perhaps they are co-workers or superiors, but they might also be at another firm or organization. They might be in another career field.
• Use networking events for easy initial meetings, or leverage your personal and professional relationships to score a one-on-one introduction.
• Do not barrage anyone with 21 questions about work mere moments after learning his or her name; sometimes the most important lessons are in the personal details of someone's story. I.E. Why this area to work? Where was their start? So, listen. Find personal commonalities, like hiking or restaurants. The thing to remember is that GENUINE interactions should always be valued. You may be on an active search for a mentor, but you are also looking for a friend in this professional Yoda character.
• Never underestimate the value of your friends and family; sometimes, they can identify more readily than you why an obstacle at work is standing in your way. After all, they are stuck with your personal and professional eccentricities. 

"I Got an Email BACK! Now what?"

Professional courtesy dictates that you be the available one, as you are the one who needs something. Be patient. Do coffee whenever possible. Keep in touch with emails, or whatever mode of communication is best suited to the person you feel you can learn from. The reality is, unless you are the incorrigible Jeremy Piven on Entourage, most colleagues want to foster new talent in their field. That said, those professionals have lives outside of their careers: they paid their dues, found their niches, and deserve to ignore you during an 8 week period in the summer. Use that time to beef up your resume, or hell, improve your golf game. Something!

The key to making the most of a mentor relationship is to be appreciative of any advice or time you are given. And to maintain (a non obsessive level of) contact. Learn what you can. Life will always be the best teacher, so you are going to figure out just what not to say to the client whose marketing account you are courting the hard way. It is going to happen: you will make a mistake and have no one to blame but yourself. The beauty is that your mentor will help out once you have made the faux pas, since more than likely, he or she can tell you how to pick yourself up and move on...or, if you are lucky, just how to fix it.

One last thing: never presume to use the advice or connections of your mentor without permission. You have been given a gift in his or her knowledge. Respect that. If your mentor is with a competing firm or agency, under no situation should you scalp their professional plans. I have seen it ruin careers and reputations. Do NOT do it. Success almost always follows the ambitious, but respect in your professional circle follows integrity.

When One Person Is Not Enough~

I mentioned earlier that sometimes a field is complex. How can an architect, or construction site manager, do his job without knowledge of the topography, current technologies available, or personality of the target audience or construction crew? Well, I never said you should stop at one mentor. You didn't stop at Psychology 101 did you, Mr. Psychiatrist?  No, I didn't think so!

Lists! (You know I love those.) What what help you? If you are in media, maybe you need to have a seasoned journalist in your friend set...but would it hurt to have someone who can walk you through the ins and outs of the local industry issues? After all, if presenting a sensitive labor issue how do you navigate relationships between plant managers and the unions without alienating either? Or maybe a situation calls for some marketing expertise: if you are writing a column or preparing a human interest piece, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have someone advise you on the way to brand a story, pictorially and semantically. 

Ultimately, the community or market that you are working in has a personality. It has quirks, preferences, a type of audience. They all affect your professional success, and a mentor is able to share the tips and experiences that helped him or her assimilate and prosper. 

Build a network of confidantes around yourself that will allow you to serve your employer first, development your career second, and serve your community always. 

Feel like a post straight out of left field? Read the Overview here like a good reader!