Um...The one where I found a GEM of a note showcasing my insanity circa 2007

 I love finding evidence that I am not only high maintenance, but also quite possibly OCD. Yay for old writings!

Confession: I have an obsession with checking the “freshness” of everything. My greatest irritation appears in the form of wet and forgotten towels on the floor. My second greatest irritation wears a nasty perfume: that of smelly food in the fridge. Honestly, I like CLEAN. I don’t mind disorder, but CLEAN is a subject on which I am unable to negotiate standards. I need to smell April Shower freshness and feel crisp ironed lines. And if I find yogurt passed its expiration date, it finds the waste basket.

To date, only my sister has every caught me indulging in my “freshness” obsession (which, you will discover shortly, has become a source of paranoia). In fact, I think she caught me smelling the laundry she had finished for me...I felt she had waited too long to dry them, and may have allowed them to sour. ANYWAYS...
I was sick last week, and left by myself to watch Blockbuster rentals and scrounge around for anything with Vitamin C in it, I decided that a little OJ would be a nice way of easing my irritated throat. At the risk of sounding pretentious and not a little ridiculous, I will describe the setting:

The kitchen was dark, save for the light coming from the refrigerator (which was only partially blocked by the milk and ketchup). After noticing that the expiration date was that for that VERY day, I was overcome with the terrifying idea that there could be mold growing in the juice. Well, I had to investigate. I clearly wasn’t going to smell it…I had no sense of smell at the time. So, instead I tried to peer down into the little hole and look at the surface of the juice. I was careful not to jostle the carton, believing somehow that the “tricky” bacteria might sink or get sloshed long enough for me to be fooled and imbibe the beverage, consequently contracting food poisoning. Refusing to turn the real light on and risk waking up my mom, I tried to hold the carton under the fridge light in order to get a better glimpse. After 2 minutes of sheer madness—yes, I acknowledge that this was momentary madness—I decided that the juice was safe.
My next move: I shook the juice. 

Glitch: Overcome with happiness at discovering no mold, I never replaced the cap.

Result: I splashed the kitchen floor and myself in orange. 

Second result: My mom woke up and demanded to know why I was shrieking in alarm.

BIGGEST disappointment: I didn’t even drink the juice. How could I? My clothes were defiled, and thus I needed to immediately find “fresher” ones.

I bring this up because I just saw someone eat a doughnut that has been in a box on our work counter since last Friday. I think I showed a little revulsion on my face, and made the offender feel quite piggish. Obviously I don’t mind getting dirty or eating outdoors, so long as things are cleaned up later. Even animals clean themselves up and eschew rotten fare! But since I am now victimizing kitchen floors and innocent (albeit misguided) co-workers, I feel I need to control the symptoms of my paranoia.

…Then again, that doughnut could prove to be hazardous…;)